Instructions: Sponge cake (buy one unless you wish to torture yourself)

custard (ditto)

tinned morello cherries
too much cherry brandy
whipped cream

Crumble the sponge cake into the bottom of the bowl. If your tinned morello cherries still have their stones in you can do one of two things: (a) remove them a tedious process (b) keep them in laughing disdainfully as your guests break all the rules of good manners. Put the stoned or unstoned cherries on top of the sponge without their juice. Now pour over as much cherry brandy as you can manage then the custard. After the trifle has got cold put lashings of whipped cream all over. By the time your guests arrive you should have finished the entire bottle of cherry brandy. This will bolster your selfconfidence but your reputation may well suffer.

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