Instructions: Lots of people (especially teenagers!) say they dont like to cook because handling and touching food is icky. Raw chicken is clammy. Smearing baking pans with oil is messy. Stuffing a turkey is gross. Right.

But if you want to learn to cook, and to be a good cook at that, you have be on intimate terms with food. Touch, feel, press, squeeze, sniff, pinch, rub, and massage. You have to handle it.

Many Asian and Arab cultures eat with either chopsticks or with the fingers.

We Americans, saddled with our numerous metal eating utensils, are a distinct global minority. So your mother told you its bad manners to eat with your fingers. Well, sometimes it is, but sometimes it isnt.

The rule of thumb, in formal settings, is to use utensils for most everything. But in less formal settings, its okay to eat some things with your fingers. Think about it. Most of our favorite foods are hand-held: burgers, fries, chicken wings, popcorn, bagels, doughnuts, pizza, fried chicken, cookies, tortillas, eggrolls, barbecued ribs and corn on the cob.

Anybody who cant or wont pick up a grilled lamb chop and gnaw the bone is standing a bit too high on ceremony and is immediately suspect as a person who avoids contact with food. If you are a little uptight on the subject, try a couple of simple "de-tox" exercises in the kitchen. Use your fingers instead of utensils.

If youre nervous about it, do this when no one is looking. Start with simple steps. Squeeze lemons and oranges by hand. Roast peppers and rub off the skins.

Toss salad with your hands. Make bread and enjoy feeling the dough yield under the pressure of your palms.

Using the hands and fingers is not only convenient and informal - its sensual. The point is: if you dont handle food, you wont understand it. There are lots of foods that we eat in public that are perfectly fine to eat with fingers. Heres a list and some of the etiquette rules that go along with them.

Asparagus - This is finger food. Pick up the spears unless the stalks are limp or really long, but avoid throwing your head back and looking like a trained seal. If you feel more comfortable using a knife and fork, do so. Either way is okay.

Artichokes - Theres no other way. Pull off the leaves with the fingers, scraping the meaty end of the leaves upside down through your teeth. Discard the leaf onto your plate. Never attempt to eat the whole leaves unless you want to overdose on fiber. When you get to the artichoke heart, cut it with your knife and fork.

Bacon - If its limp, use a fork. But if its dry and crisp, use your fingers.

Pastries - At a breakfast meeting, use the tongs provided (maybe) to get the pastry onto your plate. If the boss is watching, cut the pastry in half or quarters and eat with a fork. If its not too sticky, fingers are okay.

Shrimp - If it still has a tail, either pick it up with your fingers or use a knife and fork. If it has no tail, spear it with a fork. Its okay to eat shrimp cocktail with the fingers.

Raw Veggies or Chips n Dip - Fingers, of course, but no double dipping or you look like George on "Seinfeld" reruns.

Olives - When the late Henry Morgan was asked if olives should be eaten with the fingers, he replied: "No, the fingers should be eaten separately."

Finger-lickin Asian Chicken Wing Sauce

Grill or broil chicken wings. To make four servings, buy 12 whole chicken wings (about 1/2 pounds) and hack into sections, discarding the wing tip. For classic Buffalo wings, dip the wings into a mixture of melted butter and hot sauce, as hot as you can stand it. For variety, try this Asian dipping sauce.

Hoisin sauce is to Asia as ketchup is to the United States.

2 tablespoons hoisin sauce
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 tablespoon soy sauce
2 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 2 inch piece fresh ginger, minced (about 2 tablespoons)

2 medium garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves

Mix hoisin sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, soy sauce and water in a small bowl; set aside. Heat vegetable oil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Saute ginger and garlic until fragrant but not browned, about 30 seconds. Stir in hoisin mixture and cook until flavors meld, about 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in cilantro. Serve warm or at room temperature.

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