Instructions: 1. Preheat the oven to 350(F. Butter an 11x15-inch pan. Put cocoa in a medium saucepan; gradually stir in 1 cup water and bring to a boil. Add butter or margarine and let melt. Set aside.

2. Sift together onto wax paper the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; add to the hot mixture. Lightly beat the eggs and add them to the mixture along with sour cream and vanilla. Pour the mixture into the prepared pan. Bake for 30 minutes, or until it feels firm in the center.

3. While the cake is baking, prepare the icing. In a saucepan, combine butter or margarine, milk, and cocoa; bring to a boil. Add powdered sugar and beat until smooth. Add chopped nuts and vanilla. Spread over the hot cake. Cook before cutting.

The Best Birthday

I come from a family of great cooks. My grandmother is famous for her Texas Fudge Cake and pies of all kinds. My mother is an excellent cook who can make something from nothing, and whose Doomsday Cookies (see page 20) are a gift from the gods. My sister is a true culinary artist who delights in mastering the most challenging recipes she can find. Somehow, the great cooking gene was mutated in me, but I nonetheless appreciate the talents of the rest of my family. Food is really just an excuse to spend time together, in my mutant opinion. One of the best gatherings we have had in the name of food was my brothers 26th birthday. For me, it changed forever the meaning of the annual celebration; it was The Best Birthday. All the family gathered at my sisters beautiful Southwestern-style home in northern California for an evening of gourmet food and birthday cake. The meal was sumptuous - Barbara had outdone herself - and as we all reached for seconds, we suddenly realized that this meal, no matter how exquisite, was not going to be complete without hearing from the birthday boy. Bob started to give a little speech, then said, "I feel like I am pretty confused at this age. What Id really like is to hear what each of you were doing when you were 26." We all settled more deeply into our chairs, and there was silence as each person thought back to an earlier time: 26...not yet 30. Still so young yet truly an adult. One by one, we spoke of our thoughts and dreams at 26. I told of graduating with a masters degree in theater, eschewing a comfortable teaching position in favor of moving to New York City and struggling to become an actress. Ah, the terrifying yet soulful life of a starving artist with so many dreams at 26. My sister spoke of hitchhiking around Europe for years, then coming home and turning her life around at that exact age. We all nodded, remembering what a dramatic change she had made in herself then. My dad talked softly and with great difficulty about the death of his first child. The baby boy was just six weeks old when he died of heart complications. My father was only 26 when he lost the son who would have been our older brother. One by one, we spoke. We celebrated birth, confusion, change and loss as the wheel of my brothers life turned. Another birthday, the passing of yet another year. and yes, we ate the famous Texas Fudge Cake since it is my brothers favorite. It tasted especially wonderful that night.

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