Instructions: Question: What fruit sports short, relatively harmless protuberances on the outside and a chartreuse gelatinous substance on the inside?

Answer: While the official calling card reads kiwano (kee-WAH-noh), more-casual acquaintances have dubbed it the horned melon, and some stores even decorate it with a sticker calling it "cuke-asaurus."

A member of the cucumis family - which encompasses melons and cucumbers - the kiwanos flavor has been compared to a combination of cucumber, banana and lime.

It is a somewhat unremarkable flavor if you weigh it against the onerous task of scooping out the slippery seeds to eat them - not to mention the $4 price tag.

The good news? The kiwano has precious few calories but considerable amounts of potassium and vitamin C.

HOW TO SELECT AND STORE: Kiwanos begin as pale green or yellow and ripen to a vibrant orange. They are oval and range from three to five inches in length.

Pass over those with bruises or soft spots. Kiwanos are available year round from California and New Zealand, depending on the season.

Do not refrigerate kiwanos. Were told that unripe kiwanos may be kept at room temperature for up to six months, but they are best if consumed within 10 days.

The skin is, despite appearances, very delicate; do not stack the fruit.

HOW TO PREPARE: With a stubby, inedible exterior and pulp within, the kiwano makes for a striking presentation. In fact, it is commonly considered more decorative than flavorful.

To eat, halve the melon lengthwise, then scoop out the pulp and seeds with a spoon. You could reserve the shells for a serving dish for ice cream, pudding or mousse.

More cumbersome preparations involve rinsing the fruit and peeling it - good luck - then slicing it for use as a garnish for fruit salads or roast poultry or ham.

Ambitious juicers may strain the seeds and drink the remaining fruit juice.

The fall-back position may be to use it as a centerpiece. Or a weapon.

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