Instructions: Soak pinto beans overnight. Next morning drain the beans, discarding those that are floating.

Heat water or beef stock, add pintos. Bring to a slow boil, reduce heat, add bay leaves, and simmer for two hours. While the beans are simmering, put one tablespoon of cumin seeds and one tablespoon black mustard seeds in a small dry frying pan. Turn heat on high, and cook, stirring constantly, until seeds
*just* begin to pop. Remove from heat immediately, and crush in a mortar and pestle or food processor. Reserve.

Next, add all dry spices, tomatoes, and chipotle peppers to the beans. Stir well. Add worcestershire sauce and nuoc mam, stir. Put four tablespoons of oil into a large skillet, chop onions and jalapeno peppers, and fry on medium heat until onions are translucent. Add to the chili pot, stir. Slice one pound of kielbasa, brown in skillet, add to chili. Now brown three pounds of ground beef, chopping with spatula into bite-sized chunks. Remove from heat, drain, and add to chili.

Now press two heads (about 25 cloves) of garlic into the chili. Add dried shrimp and smoked oysters. Stir, bring to a boil, reduce to a medium simmer, and cook, covered, for an additional one to two hours, stirring occasionally. About fifteen minutes before serving add a quarter cup of honey, stir, and salt to taste. Remove from heat, and serve.

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