Instructions: Clean the mushrooms in cold water (Harlod McGee tells us that they do not absorb enough water to be worth the fuss of using a mushroom brush.

I agree. Since they are already something like 95% water, even if they absorb a large amount, they will only become ... what - 96%?)

Cut or pull the stems off of the mushrooms (save them for mushroom soup or a duxell) and slice the caps into 3/16 inch slices.

Finely chop the shallots. If you dont have shallots, use 3 tbsp chopped onion and 1 small clove of garlic, chopped, minced, diced, pressed, cleavered or otherwise made mushy in your most favorite way.

Heat a frying/saute pan over medium-high heat. Add the butter and let it melt. When the butter is bubbling, add the mushrooms. Saute, tossing or stirring until the mushrooms start to brown. If a lot of juice comes out of the mushrooms, simply boil it away and keep on.

As the mushrooms start to brown, add the shallots (or onion and garlic) and the chopped parsley. Finish browning the mushrooms.

Taste the mixture. Sometimes it will improve in flavor with the addition of the lemon juice. Sometimes it doesnt seem to be needed.

Spoon the sauted mushrooms over warm, buttered toast.

If you want to be fancy, cut the crusts off of the bread before you make the toast, cut it diagonally after it is toasted and buttered and call it toast points. Sprinkle a little fresh chopped parsley on top of the mushrooms and put a small sprig of parsley on the plate beside. Invite the in-laws over and tell them you are learning to cook at the Internet Cooking School.

Another Option: In place of shallots, use about 2 -3 tablespoons of finely chopped fresh chives.

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