Instructions: DAY ONE: (though I hate them on principle, electric stoves seem to simmer better, and simmering is pretty much all I do with this, which necessitates the extended cooking time . . .)

FIRST: dice three large onions (red, yellow, & white) and throw in large pot with enough water to cover them. HEAT but dont boil. Add three cans of beans (large red [kidney], small red, & black) but be sure and drain off the gross water theyre canned in. Add a small can of tomato paste.

THEN: chop up all the chile peppers you can get. Go for variety in color and size. Its easy in D.C., what with all the markets catering to speakers of Spanish. I use the seeds, too. Cayennes, Anaheims, little purple hot ones from my garden, the "Thai bullets" when I can find em, Jalapenos, Habaneros, whatever. Just lots.

ADD chopped carrot, chopped tomato, celery.

SPICE with generous quantities of ground cumin, black pepper, cayenne powder, cilantro, and basil.

COOK for a long time.

DAY TWO: KEEP cooking. (A thick brown broth should spontaneously generate itself at some point. I believe its the beans, and thats why I dont use meat - the beans seem to do such a good job on their own, and I really cant stand chili thats mostly just a paste of ground beef - Id rather have a cheeseburger.)

ADD 1 tablespoon of butter, the juice of a lemon, and a tablespoon of brown sugar. I dont know why, just trust me. It adds something that people cant ever seem to identify, and takes a little bit of the pain out of the sting of the peppers.

Its ready when yr hungry, and it keeps nicely for the rest of the week.

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